Trying to find the answers to Life's biggest mysteries

By Kathy Fisher

© 2005-2010 - updated October 16, 2007

Even though I feel like I have a pretty good grasp of the workings of the Universe/earthly holodeck on an intellectual level, I still have many problems accepting and dealing with it emotionally (I guess my first question, then, would be: "What's the deal with emotions, anyway??"... for that I have no answers). Some aspects of life just don't compute ... don't make sense ... bother me. I always said that when I die and get to the other side, I would be asking these questions of God ... but why wait. I'll do it here

Sometimes during prayer/meditation, when I ask disturbing questions of God, I get pithy answers from a small voice deep within. They always make sense ... and I am going to include them here.

Also, people I consider at least somewhat advanced on the road to enlightenment have given me their takes on these questions and I will include their thoughts as well. If you want to add something to the discussion, please send me an e-mail.

Why do innocent little children and animals/pets suffer and die?

This one bothers me and hurts me deeply more than anything else about life on Earth. Obviously, children and animals have done nothing in this life to earn their suffering. In fact, they are more in touch with who they really are than most adults I've met. There is no ego to get in the way. So why then?

The only answer I get inside and from others for this question is that the suffering is for the benefit of those who witness it, to learn compassion and to atone for karmic deeds in previous lives. Nothing happens by accident; everything happens for a purpose.

For example, I had two dear cats die horrible deaths within months of each other. I was sooooo angry at God about it! What did those poor animals ever do to deserve such pain? What did I do to deserve such grief? Well, my heart said ... what if you were an animal abuser in a previous incarnation and you agreed to come back and suffer the painful deaths of animals you love to atone for that. (Also, the internal answer as to why two of my 3 beloved cats had to die so close to each other was "to lighten the load." Of course, I have no idea why the load needed to be lightened, but so be it.). Later afterthought: My last old cat died two years later, also a difficult painful end.

Another example: Suppose a mother killed her own child ... horrific karma, right? So her child in that life agrees to help her atone in the next one. Again, they are mother and child but this time the mother loves her child dearly ... then it dies young of some horrible, painful disease. The mother's grief is horrendous, but necessary to atone for the unthinkable karmic crime committed before.

Well, this all makes sense, but it doesn't lessen the pain I feel still for my own losses and the losses of others. Perhaps this is my lesson in compassion, too.

Speaking of cats (I was above) .....

After the last of my beloved cats died, I started seeing feral (wild) cats roaming the woods. Most I would only see on occasion. But one stuck around, a little grey thing with calico markings. I assume it's a female because only females have calico markings. She is apparently living in or near the woodshed and she is around the area nearly every day. I saw her on the front porch once, but that's as close as she's come to the house. She's a talker and will meow at me, but won't let me near her. I've started taking a plate of dry catfood out for her in the mornings (I have to remove it in the evening or the raccoons eat it) and I put a blanket on the woodpile which I have seen her sleeping on. But still, she runs away if I get too close ... and I worry about her. Yesterday, I got really mad at God. Why did you take away my beloved cats only to give me a wild one that I can't get near, one that I worry about out there all alone. The answer I got was typical: "Do you worry about the squirrels?" Sheeesh. I put wild animal feed and bird seed in the back yard because I love watching the squirrels from my kitchen window (and the chipmunks and the jays and the doves and the other birds and occasionally deer and raccoons). It's true ... I feed them, I watch them, I enjoy them, but I never worry about them. I leave their well-being in the hands of God. I can't seem to do that with this wild cat, and maybe that's my lesson ... this is God's cat, not mine, brought into my life for a reason. I can feed her, I can even give her a blanket to sleep on, but that's all I can do. The rest is up to God ... just like the squirrels. Surrender!

Why is death so revoltingly ugly?

You have only to see the carcass of a roadkill animal to know how grotesquely repulsive death can be. Sure, I know intellectually that it's just an empty shell ... the spirit has moved on ... but that doesn't keep me from being sick to my stomach when I see it. I won't look at a dead body in a casket ... or a dead pet before it is buried. I don't want to see it ... I don't want that to be my last memory, etched in disgusting detail in my mind.

I got a strange answer inside about this: When you take off your clothing to go to bed or take a shower and leave it in a pile on the floor, does that pile of discarded clothing disgust you? Of course not, I answer. Well, that is all a dead body is ... a pile of discarded clothing.

OK, I understand intellectually, but I still feel disgust emotionally. Maybe there is lesson there.

These are some other questions that come to mind ... I'll add information and "internal answers" another day:

If the Ego (with its fear-based greed, lust, power-hunger, survival-mentality, etc.) is the root of all evil on earth, why did you give us one anyway?

Animals don't have egos ... do they? Just us humans. So what is it good for?

If the ultimate purpose of our lives here is to create "heaven on earth" by remembering the spiritual self that we really are, then why did we forget in the first place?

Seems really stupid to come here to remember something we already knew before we got here.

Why would anyone in their right mind CHOOSE voluntarily to come to this earth since being here is bound to lead to suffering?

From this side of the veil, I can say with all my heart that I will never choose voluntarily to come back here again.

If you GOOGLE "Questions for God," you will get thousands of web pages in return (I've read lots of them). Many, if not most, have answers based on the Bible. I'm not a big believer in the Bible being the word of God. I have no proof about the identities/credentials of who wrote it in the first place and too many religious hands have edited it for their own purposes over the centuries. I prefer to rely on my own inner counsel when asking "the big questions" about life on earth. But reading some of the other web pages out there on this topic is interesting food for thought.

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